No matter how strong I appear, I'm very weak and sometimes the thing that keeps me standing is hug from Wu or a text from Cracker or the faith reviving stories from Famaay.
Wuwu
A younger twin sister. The person I can fight with when I'm angry at the world and not feel guilty about it. The youngest in the grandpa Enver's family. The girl who keeps falling for fictional characters and the telly celebs and a specific douche bag over and over again that she forgets to notice the nice ones arounds her. She has supported me in my worst and I've hated her with all my heart at times. But we have stuck together. She is my little angel, my gift from God, my shield from the ruthless world, my super-power that helps me survive.
Cracker
Girls remember everything - they are correct when they say that. I, for instance, remember the day I first talked to him back in 2004. I remember I our fight. The first time i shed tears. The first time we met. The time he hacked into my computer. Jokes he told, the picture he showed. Every single thing. I remember the time my parents found out about him. I remember staying awake through the nights for him. He's the guy I've truly loved. The one I've cried myself to sleep for. The guy I met who was the strangest stranger. A nameless entity with a faceless identity. The person I pray for. I've lost my heart to guy who knows how to take care of a thing someone has trusted him with.
Famay
I rarely form attachments to people, and I don't really trust people. I keep expecting people to back stab me. Long term friends worry; I keep falling off the radar, not calling or texting, not posting my thoughts online. When I get down and depressed, I feel I have no one I can talk to, I turtle up and hide away. I remember how I hated you when I met you, how you still make fun of me while I make those faces when I meet new people. You've done what no friend has ever done for me. You listen to my bullshit and not judge me. You take care of my pet while I'm out of town. And most importantly you support my irrational love story. We'll be the old ladies who run around the malls, stalk cute guys on facebook. We'll cry to the rock-band-songs you love and re-read our stories over and over to each other. You'll be the one sipping tea while I'll still be on iced cappuccinos.
*Wipes away tears of joy*
ReplyDeleteHow do i survive when im feeling sad:
-Read your wallposts-tweets-texts
-See our pictures
-Remember all the good times i have had because of you
-Eat something you cooked for me.
*smiles through tears*
DeleteI survive because I know I have a much stronger sister I need to put up with her strength.
I like how you've given the same colors to the headings of our names like it is on your bb.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That was very brilliant of me, innit? I miss how white/previously purple/now blue light never lights up anymore.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteas i sit here, reading this, like wu, i wipe my tears away too. unlike you, i do form attachment, trust everyone and then return all heart-broken. but through all this, one person who has always stood by me, is you. you're not a sister, but YOU ARE A SISTER. Manjhli. tomorrow you are leaving for canada while I'm in lahore at the mo! ;) hahah :').
ReplyDeletefama k sab kaam ghalat ho jatay hain jab fish nai hoti. :'( I'll miss you!
and yes, we shall grow up to be the old ladies who'll laugh and cry at their stories at the same time, one sipping coffee and the other one happy with tea.
Love,
faamay.