"Her philosophy of life was that she might die any moment. But the tragedy, she said, was that she didn't." - I don't know who said that or why, I just find it relevant, and thats enough.
There are things I need to do. Apart from sending him the draft for a request for sponsorship I should be drinking loads of water and green tea and need to get the following piece of latest information out of my mind:
Just yesterday I heard that one of my mother's cousin had her daughter engaged to this guy in Canada who had not even completed his high-school and earns a living by driving a delivery truck. The only possible excuse for this is my Aunt wants her daughter to have a secure future which includes doing the dishes, laundry and all the house chores with a Masters degree in Software engineering for a guy who can hardly talk sense in one straight sentence but lift weight like a chimpanzee.
Our parents still live in an age where they think they are doing the best for their beloved children but this love blinds them to a hurtful extent. I'm sure my mother's Cousin didn't even ask her daughter if she was okay with the Canadian-guy or if she had someone else in mind at all. Even more tragic part of the story is that the girl didn't raise her voice against the injustice and has excepted it has fate. So much for the 'Bachiyon ko aala taleem dilwayein'
Now coming to even more pressing issue. My phopho, lately has been calling my mum up and feeding her with the lame bullshit that the divorce rates are high because of the internet (which according to my Aunt is limited to social networking sites such as Facebook or emails only). She says: "ujj kal pehle maa baap viyah tey ker dinday ney par jadd kurriyan aglaai khaar jaandiyan ney tey admi unnaa'an dey facebook tey yaar deekh dey ney fayr talaaqan hondiyaan ney." (The parents find the best matches for their girls but the girls are married off and the husband finds out about her facebook male friends the marriage abruptly ends in divorce). So much for the best matches. These men (newly wed husbands) are from the same mind sets as my Phopho and others from her generation. Not everyone on facebook friend list is a boyfriend and not all girls think that the matches parents find for them are the best. (I hate breaking the ice here for my phopho).
One of my Aunts (Yes I know I have a twisted family) thinks that marriages should only take place between people who belong to the same caste. Sigh. I don't know how and why she has this obsessive compulsive disorder and what religious facts she has gathered to back up her theory. Its only mind boggling to be a part of a family that has such serious intentions of fouls against their own baby girls. And the highlight of the problem is, its always the mothers and aunts that support these lame ideas.
Its frustrating and hard to fight but girls, stand up for your life. You own it. Your parents have (no doubts about it) sacrificed a lot for you but they shouldn't be the ones snatching your right to life of personal choice.
You've got a pretty interesting family. ;)
ReplyDeleteIts a typical Pakistani mentality. Not just my family.
DeleteYaar, aaj Kal every other person has Facebook. My baba cousin barely started talking and she has 50 friends. Extremely weird right? Facebook breaks friendship is probably the most weird thing I've heard. COMPLETELY illogical.
ReplyDeleteAur suno, your Canada example is right on the dot. My khala lives in America. Her mother married her there because obviously jee, it's Amreeka. Her hands are blistered from feeding her huge family,she works like a slave and the husband dear doesn't even bother to get up to get a glass of water even though he telly-works. The mother turns a blind eye. It's a pathetic situation.
Pathetic. And theres nothing we or anyone is doing to change the mindset. Its heartbreaking! :(
DeleteNot neccesarily with you on making fun of the chick who quietly accepted Canadian trucker. Baki yes, sadness.
ReplyDeleteMy prognosis; better Facebook privacy settings could save many marriages.
You are all welcome. Tell your kids their parents are still together because of me.
I DIDNOT make fun of my mother's cousin's daughter. I'm outraged at her stupidity. I share my password with the person I plan to spend my life with. Facebook privacy needs to be set for our khalas, phophis and chachis who have a gossip business.
DeleteMy children would know their parents are together because they loved each other above everything else.
Denial is not the answer.
DeleteThe fact of the matter is that sadly all such people are 'parhay likhay jahil/unparh' as far as i'm concerned. As for marriage, it was, is and will always be gamble, be it arrange or love, facebook or not facebook!
ReplyDelete