Sentence me to another life

I've had a long tiring life. After everything I've been through, I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone. I like listening to the music alone and I like walking home alone. I've been on my own for soo long that being around people makes me uncomfortable. I hate crowded places and noise. When I see a happy family in a car, a girl with a boy holding hands, friends laughing over something, I realize that even though I like being alone but I don't fancy being lonely.