The world doesnt revolve around you

Mai ne ussay kaha mai tumse mohabbat karti hon, ussney kaha mujhe tumhari parwa nahi. Agar mai Allah se yehi kehti tu kya mujhe yehi jawab milta?

Mene ussay kaha keh tum mujhe meri galti tu batao, mene kiya kya hai? Usne kuch nahi kaha. Kya agar mai Allah yehi pochti tu uska jawab yehi hota?

Mene ussay kaha jabse tum meri zindagi mai aye ho mene apni zindagi tumharai mutabiq ji, usne mujhse kaha yeh tumari marzi thi. Agar mai apni zindagi k chund saal Allah k mutabiq jeeti tu kya bhe yehi kehta?

Mene ussay poocha aisa kya karon k tum khush ho jao? Usne kaha tumhari koi baat mujhe khush nahi kar sakti. Agar mai Allah se pochti tu kya woh bhe mujhe yehi kehta?

-Shehr-e-Zaat

You will miss him

You will miss him no matter how nicely or how badly he treated you and no matter how long or how little you had him you will miss him and you will want him to be the one that comforts you and you will want to know why he did this to you and you will scream at the world and be angry even at the flowers that grow from the soil of the earth and you will collapse on the floor like a leaf falling from its tree and you will feel lost like a tourist in a foreign city and you will feel so numb that you will have to check if your heart is even beating and I am not going to sugarcoat it for you and I am not going to tell you that he will come back and lift you out of your grave because the truth is you will have to stitch your body back together and you will have to be the one that cleans the waterfall of tears that have splashed your cheeks and no matter how much you wish for him to come back you will have to learn that most stars are already dead in light-years and you have to be the one that fixes your own gears of your contraption because you are the only one that can swim when you are drowning in your own blood.

Backfires

I always write about you. I don’t have 2 AM thoughts, instead I have all day thoughts about you and I know that seems obsessive and I hate that. But you don’t understand, you won’t understand, that when I say I can not kiss anybody else it is because you have taken all of me and absolutely crushed me, you have broken me in every single way possible and it makes me ache that it does not bother nor affect you in any way. I hate you so much but I love you and it only backfires on me because I don’t cross your mind. You simply do not care. I wish it were that easy for me to move on to forget you to not care. 

He love you a little

“The hardest part of walking away is accepting that your love isn’t enough to inspire change. Then one day you realize you were fighting to love someone more than you fought to love yourself.”

—

R.R.

Love is horrible

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
“
— Neil Gaiman

Koi Umeed - Mirza Ghalib

Koi umeed bar nahi ati
koi soorat nazar nahi ati

Moat ka aik din mo-ayeeyan hai
neend kyun raat bar nahi ati

Agay ati thi hal-e-dil pe hansee
ab kisi baat per nahi ati

Jaanta hoon sawab-e-teyat-o-zohad
per tabiyaat udher nahi ati

Hai kuch aisee hai baat jo chup hoon
warna kiya baat ker nahi ati

Kiyon na cheekhon ke yaad kartay hein
meri awaaz gar nahin ati

Daag-e-dil gar nazar nahin ata
boo bhi ae chaaraagar nahi ati

Hum wahan hain jahan say hum Ko bhi
kuch hamari khabar nahi ati

Martay hein arzoo mein marnay ki
moat ati hai per nahi ati

Kabah kis moun say jao gay Ghalib
Sharam tum ko magar nahi ati

The Shadi Craze

I was born in an society where a predefined pattern of life events have to be followed in accordance with the timeline provided. Unfortunately, I wasn't brought up to take care of these insecurities of the society. I was admitted to a school when I was 2 and a half years old. I opted to matriculations instead of o levels, when my friends were planning to join a medical college I was telling my career counsellor I would rather be a patient instead of a doctor. Then while all my university class-fellows were getting married I was plotting the arrest of abductors. I have never really paid attention to what most of my social circle is doing. 

At 27, I have been through enough to say that my experience with people and life surpasses the experience of a 45 year old. Not that it made me any wiser but it definitely has taught me how to react. The people I called friends are the ones talking about how I'm throwing my life away. Their definition of 'life' is being married, with children, a mother in law to bitch about and a sister in law to hate on. My definition of life is freedom. These 'friends' are incapable of thinking about anything that is outside the defined societal patterns of living. I would go ahead and say these are drawn for both genders, however, men have wider time-spans to play with unlike women. Shadi is the only social responsibility our nation seems to be aware of. The morning shows, the news bulletins, fashion shows, music industry, movies, television entertainment shows and drama serials, drawing-room talks, family gatherings, eid, shabraats EVERYTHING you name is based on the concept of Shadi. 

With our obsession with weddings we have forgotten the prime utility of the phenomenon. Every-time the phone rings, life drains out of me. I hate how my relatives are so concerned about why I am not married as yet. I hate to explain it to my parents why I don't like anyone they try to fix me with. I hate the craze all of us have fallen into. My shadi is my problem, looks like everyone else is concerned sick except me. The right to my life is mine. Only if the society respected that.