Eid - a Saddening Truth

Ramadan is almost over and I didn't lose much weight. But thats not what this post is about.

This post is about our attitude towards Eid. Its saddening to see how hating everything is mainstream these days. But hating Eid? Lets take some examples from the tweets and get this done.

You have to be kidding me. Because Eid is probably the only islamic festival, muslims have. And talking about it like its a burden is NOT acceptable. Whats wrong with catching up with relatives once a year? Whats wrong in dressing up because its your damn religious festival? Even if its a fashion show, is it wrong to dress up and celebrate just one day because our Prophet also wore new clothes on Eid and met friends and relatives and common muslims. 

I'm sure these people have nothing against dressing up as a dog or a frog for halloween. They have nothing against dressing up/or not but attending after parties but yes they can't meet their relatives and they can always bitch about everything on the social media because thats how hatred is cool. 

Next issue for eid being:

How hard is it to understand that:

•  Eid is celebrated with new moon birth.
•  Moon can take birth in any part of the globe and doesn't have to be synchronized with time zone. For example, Technically, sunsets in Pakistan first and moon should be sighted after Maghrib prayers in Pakistan at first but if new moon is born after 5 hours and they sight it in Arabia and announce Eid, Pakistan will NOT have eid until next day. DO YOU GUYS HAVE COMMON SENSE OR NOT?
• What difference does celebrating eid on the same day makes anyway? Its not like people from Pakistan and people from Arabia and/or people from Canada can't wish eid even if they have their eid with a delay of a day or few hours.

And then there are people like him:

Everything's a joke. Because YOLO. Well the bad news is, you dont YOLO, because there is life after death. 

Thats about it. But you all, disappoint me. 

Confessions Again

Confessions of a Racist

• I try to flee from places where I see black guys. They make me uncomfortable and I see myself being mugged, stabbed, kidnapped, raped, murdered, everything until I lose the sight of them.
• Arabs, according to me, view religion as they please, they also have this arrogant belief that Islam is only their religion, they're the only true muslims and everybody else can be bullied.
• I have nothing against the Chinese or far east nations, they're hardworking and friendly.
• While growing up, watching all those cheesy indian movies with zillions of dances on the roadsides with people wearing uniform clothes from the hero-heroine to the extras, I used to believe everybody in India: (a) Wore uniform clothes. (b) Danced on roads/seasides/mountains/everywhere with whole lot of extras with them.
• I don't know if its racism or what, but I believed everybody who left Pakistan and settled in the US or Britain, was either driving a taxi or woking at a fastfood.
• 'Angrez begairat hotai hein' 
• Australians are only good at two things, (a) Every sports they play, (b) Being a better racist than me.

Confessions of a Muslim

• Just like about every other muslim on the planet right now, I think, I can pray five times a day, fast in Ramadan, contribute to charity, perform Hajj and along with these I can go on bitching about people, I can lie and abuse and misuse power and I can play my part in corruption.
• God will forgive my sins because I'm a muslim, and He loves His beloved Prophet Mohammad's Ummah.
• I don't need to do anything about the current sufferings of muslims because it's God's will and I can't change what God has written as a fate for us.

Confessions of a Confused Pakistani

• I am aware that my vote matters, but I don't want to vote for any of the current active politicians. No, not even Imran Khan.
• Its not a very proud moment but being a Punjabi Pakistani, I could never master even one language, I can speak punjabi very well, can't read or write it. I can read, speak and write urdu but not like I would have wanted with Urdu being our national language. I can speak, read and write english but expressing myself solely in english can be a hassle at times. Because when I'm angry, punjabi's the only language I can think in.
• I would rather have Afghan, Persian and Chinese as friend nations as compared to United States. I don't believe in long distance friendships.
• Everybody who doesn't live in Lahore, Islamabad, Karachi, Peshawar, Faisalabad is an illiterate farmer who has never heard of family planning.
• I hate how arrogant the people of Karachi are. Pakistan goes far beyond Karachi and Sindh.
• I have no hope for any better changes in Pakistan with this new generation taking over, because I know better.

Confessions of a 26 years old 

• Freedom to life still seems like a fancy book term to me.
• Having lived half my expected life span single, I see no way of ever surrendering to an argument with my future husband.
• Really need a digital camera with wifi and apps so I can take picture from my hi-res camera and upload them on instagram directly.
• Typos are not an embarrassment any longer. They're a source of laughter for me and everybody I know.
• A month back I didn't want to lose weight, now I want to. Anything for shotai.

I've probably missed a lot of things I could have included but this shall do for now. 

20 confessions

Favorites:

Color: Red

Drink: Stawberry GingerAle

Food: Shammi kebabs

Movie: Jab we met

Song at the moment: Chori Chori - Meesha Shafi, Coke Studio, Season 3

Book: 11/22/63 - Stephen King

Ice Cream Flavor: Red berries

The Confessions:

1. I like my hair grey, and no I dont feel any need to dye them.

2. I’m afraid of knocking things over in shops.

3. I’m tired most of the times.

4. My super-hero is my chacha.

5. I'm not listening to most of the things people think I'm paying attention to.

6. I’m easily offended.

7. My mother is emotionally the strongest person I know.

8. I enjoy going to places like museums.

9. I don’t want to listen to any of the 575 songs on my ipod.

10. I hate the limitations.

11. I’m easily entertained, like the pendulum of the clock can keep me busy staring for hours.

12. Basically anything you say will make me laugh.

13. I trust love, it can do wonders.

14. I laugh at my own jokes.

15. I hate sleeping.

16. Things/people can hardly hold my attention for long.

17. I hardly (almost never) form attachements to people.

18. I hate the way people judge me and how it effects my parents.

19. Nothing annoys me more than people who offer sympathies.

20. He's the happiness in my otherwise dull life.

The Day I Failed my HSSC Exam

2004 - the year I took my HSSC exams.

It wouldn't be wrong if I told you I couldn't pass Mathematics if my life depended on it. Unfortunately, I had Math during my intermediate years. Though its not a proud moment from anyone else's perspective but after my first year result was out, I had only scored 37 out of 100 in math. While my mum was busy telling me how my result has been affected by my mathless brains, I was busy offering salah-te-shukarana, for only I know it was impossible for me to clear something I barely understood.

Then came my second year at college. I went to college every working day, but I never attended any classes. By the time, the term was ending, the college administration sent a notice to my residence stating that they wouldn't be able to send my registration on college's behalf to the Board authorities. I'll skip what happened at my place after that letter and continue with how I convinced my college administration that I couldn't attend college for those 3-4 months. I'll also skip the lies I told them about why I couldn't make it to college for one whole term. The Vice Principal decided to give me a shot, and arranged to special exams that were only conducted for me, luckily for me, I passed those, and was allowed to register from college for the federal board exams.

I passed the maths exam because my parents got me math tutor and I hated him, but thanks to that bloke I cleared my mocks.

Finally, I was done with intermediate and was waiting for result, praying regularly, being nice to everyone around, only so I could pass this last exam. Nothing was more important then passing board exams back then. And then one fine day, the Federal Board announced the result.

I logged in to their website, but it wasn't working and I decided to call the board office and ask for my result. As soon as the guy picked up I told him my roll number to which he replied, "Fail hein ap" If I could have died of heart failure, that was the moment, magar mai dheet, I' "Kya matlab?" He replied, "Bibi aik bhe subject nahi clear apka" and then I heard toot toot toot, because he had disconnected. Standing there thinking about what had gone wrong and how the hell I would ever face anybody again in life, tears running down my face when my mum came downstairs and started, "karalya hun zaleel saanu?"

And the phone rang, my younger sister checked the caller ID and said: "fishie its your friend natasha." I couldn't muster up courage to take the phone and my mum refused to talk to me or anyone, hence my sister picked up. I could hear natasha's excited voice through the phone and I wanted to die. I took the phone and congratulated her and told her I've failed. She couldn't believe it. And asked for my roll number, because the board website was working at her place. I told her my roll number and she started laughing. She was laughing when I felt nothing but remorse on my very existence. Thats when I screamed at her, "Mubarak ho tumhe tumharai marks" and she sobered a bit and told me that the roll number I was telling her was my first year's roll number and I needed to check my second year's roll number slip. 

I ran upstairs checked my roll number and told her and found out that I hadn't actually failed but the first thing she told me was, "you've 33 in math"

Through that day I know, how it feels to fail a course, or a year altogether. I'm glad it was only temporary though. I always double check things now.

I will never forget that horrible moment when the guy said, "Ap fail hein."

I still have nightmares about it. But I'm glad I could tell my mother at the end, "Nahi karaya thuwanu zaleel" and hugged her.

Islamabad - Just a memory for now

This is an old note I wrote when I came to canada in 2009
Still miss Islamabad just the same, posting this because I'm bored.

Adding this picture, because he once said, he loves Islamabad's view from Monal.

I know Islamabad is going to miss me and I know its going to be a LOT. Islamabad - the beautiful. My love. Mo Chrio. There were times when at night I would lay on my bed and think how I would grow old and MORE useless (hahaha) and not get tired of living in that heaven. I would be sitting in a class and drift into day dreams about how I loved this city and someday I would be buried in the very soil of it. I was a show-off, I thought I was a better girl and lived in a better place than everybody else because they lived NOT in Islamabad. 

I'm sure it would miss me like I miss it. 

Now nobody would argue with an elder that ISLAMABAD is ISLAMABAD and DHA ISLAMABAD is in RAWALPINDI. And that someday I would file a petition against the wrong usage of my town's name in an outer territory. 

A 60 kg, fat, 22 year old, short haired fish would no longer walk on the lovable streets. 

Islamabad misses its behan-trio already. The unbreakable, unbeatable, unbearable trio. 

The town would miss me. The new found heroine. 

lol. 

Am not bragging about it or anything, but I think I am THE HEROINE. 

A opposite of two? Can't answer, it’s a lonely me and a lonely Islamabad-the beautiful. Now would anyone look after the street lights and register a complain that one on the ibne sina road which is miles away from my home wasn’t lit. Who would right suggestions and drop them in the comment boxes? Who would send appreciation letters to the CDA chairman who made my town look more beautiful, and I never even thought it was even possible. Not that I did all this stuff, but I planned to do it, someday, when I grew old enough. 

A someone who went out with her baba to a medical store to fetch some medicine and on her way back brought ice-creams from McDonalds. Would ever, Islamabad see another, who loved been driven around the city just for fun? 

I would guide people to their destinations without even being with them. I know Islamabad by Inch and centimeters. I knew every corner and street. I knew I would never get lost here. I knew no one could take me any where strange with in Islamabad. Haha, Didnt I get those bastards caught? 

Who would go the Mei Hoe now? Who would get hair-cuts just for fun? Who would ask Stephaney where she got her new top from? Who would pass by Mimi’s house and blow kisses and text her, I just passed by your house and waved and blah blah blah. 

I know I’m not the only one, I know I wasn’t the last one. I know I might only be dazed. But I know even if Islamabad doesn’t miss me. I MISS IT. And would every single day of eternity.

Just Thoutghts

It scares me when I get close to people, because either I'll continue to grow closer to them or I'll stop and we'll become strangers. Either way it'll hurt (sooner or later).

I was a happy person once. Notorious to an extend that my teachers would make me sit alone and/or on their desk. Those things never worked, because I was one of the unstoppables. From taking an exam for a friend who feared failing the course for the third time to shutting the power supply of the whole campus while we had a VIP guest for an event. Was always caught but managed to crawl out of the claws with this little notorious brain of mine. And then I got tried of being all that. 

I got tired of always being happy and the kind of a girl who solved most of her problems with quick thinking and cunning reactions. I got tired of how everything I did or said was taken for a cheap practical joke. I got tired of me.

And the friends that you allow to get yourself close to, are the ones who hurt you and leave you without an explanation or even an apology. That's when you discover their true colors and get to know who they are. 

The Part of Family People Call Parrot

This is for Philep (Fleepy) - The Parrot

I wish she was a human (only so I could bring her to Canada with me). I had never imagined caring for a bird as much, and it startles me to find myself loving you as much as I do.

I keep texting baba and ask him to send me your pictures and talk about you all day. Roam pointlessly around the house and look for you, even though I know you're not here, you're never been here. I tell your tales to my friends here. Nobody believes your love for coke and ice-cubes. Then I showed them this picture:

I miss how you knocked on the almond jar and asked for those badaams and I miss how you nibbled on my ears and beaked my cheeks and lips. feepy :(

I miss how you woke me up every morning with pulling my eyelids softly with your beak (yes, and I didn't mind and/or got hurt). Miss how you meowed when I got back home after long day at office. You've been to my office and showed everyone how well behaved you little thing are:

Dear little parrot, I'll be back home. With love and hopes of finding my pet all grown up <3