You will miss him

You will miss him no matter how nicely or how badly he treated you and no matter how long or how little you had him you will miss him and you will want him to be the one that comforts you and you will want to know why he did this to you and you will scream at the world and be angry even at the flowers that grow from the soil of the earth and you will collapse on the floor like a leaf falling from its tree and you will feel lost like a tourist in a foreign city and you will feel so numb that you will have to check if your heart is even beating and I am not going to sugarcoat it for you and I am not going to tell you that he will come back and lift you out of your grave because the truth is you will have to stitch your body back together and you will have to be the one that cleans the waterfall of tears that have splashed your cheeks and no matter how much you wish for him to come back you will have to learn that most stars are already dead in light-years and you have to be the one that fixes your own gears of your contraption because you are the only one that can swim when you are drowning in your own blood.

Backfires

I always write about you. I don’t have 2 AM thoughts, instead I have all day thoughts about you and I know that seems obsessive and I hate that. But you don’t understand, you won’t understand, that when I say I can not kiss anybody else it is because you have taken all of me and absolutely crushed me, you have broken me in every single way possible and it makes me ache that it does not bother nor affect you in any way. I hate you so much but I love you and it only backfires on me because I don’t cross your mind. You simply do not care. I wish it were that easy for me to move on to forget you to not care. 

He love you a little

“The hardest part of walking away is accepting that your love isn’t enough to inspire change. Then one day you realize you were fighting to love someone more than you fought to love yourself.”

—

R.R.

Love is horrible

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
“
— Neil Gaiman